The Past Should Stay Dead

I was a degree student but I quit. Why? Cause I was stupid. Young. Irresponsible. Immature. Yes, I was. People laughed at me. People hate me. People abandoned me. For once in my life, I felt - alone. Really alone. I could see slowly one by one, people whom I thought would be with me through my bad and good times, left me. My parents hated me. No wait. Hate? That is such a strong word. My parents were pissed off at me. Me and my dad? He was giving the cold shoulder almost for a month. I didn't blame him. I didn't blame anyone but myself. It was a mistake I made. A major mistake that changed the course of my life forever.

Little that I know that the MAJOR mistake that I made actually makes me a better person. I learned how to be independent. I learned how to be smart. Most of all, I learned how to be responsible. The first few months after the incident happened, I was having a difficult time standing up again. I had to start from scratch. And I made it. I worked as a cashier. As usual, STUPID SNOBBISH SELFISH SELF-CENTERED people will think that those who are working behind the counter are down-right stupid. They will think we - speaking on behalf of all of us - are non-educated, come from a low class family and do not deserve a place in this world.

Well, I have a news for you. For you people, you go to work, you do your job and your boss doesn't like it. So you become pissed off and of course you can't let it out at him or her. So you kept that rage and just wait to let it out at someone. You can't let it to your spouse cause he or she may file for a divorce and you may loose some of your money. You can't let it out on to your kids cause they might end up like you. Maybe you will go and have a drink or get hitched with a prostitute. I don't know. So the best thing to do is to let it all out on us cause we can't do anything. Customers are always right. Like your motto too "Boss is always right"

I pity all of you.

Now, I have a better job. And I have a car. I earn it. And I am proud of it. Sure, it's not a Mercedes or an Audi but it still takes me places. I have a place in this world too.

And one day, I'll go far.

So what if I don't have a degree? So what if I don't study overseas? So what if I only have a high school diploma? That doesn't mean I am stupid. That doesn't mean I am hopeless either. That doesn't mean that I have no place on earth. That doesn't mean that you have to treat me like a stray dog and kick dirt in my face.

That doesn't mean that you are a better person than I am.

I feel sorry for you.

Francoise the Ninja.

We have to choose, we made made our moves, now we gotta go.

Today, nothing good happen actually. Everything is perfectly normal. The usual. Work 9 to 6. Argued with my boss. People coming to register for the exams and classes. Lunch. Continue working till 6. I guess that's pretty much how my life goes since last year. Yeah, true I do get paid for it but I think somehow, there's more to life than that. You know, than working. And money.

People say money is the root of all evil. I say the heart is. What do you say?

Hmph. I have a friend name Francoise. She's an American but I think that that is a French name. Anyway, we met on myspace. She's a good friend I must say and yes, I do enjoy talking to her. We talked about a lot of things. Like animals, food and other normal boring stuff but we made it interesting. You see, it doesn't matter on the topic. Even if it is a boring and dull topic like animals, we can still make it interesting. Anyway, she's working with her dad in an insurance company if I am not mistaken. So yeah, basically she knows the world.

So we're talking the other day about what is going on with the world today and we think that the world is such a beautiful place although people are blind, that they can't see it. I personally think that there is so much of negative energy going around the world that I am literally suffocating by it. If only people - we - can stop and take a look at what we've done to this place, we will all be crying. Francoise agrees with that.

She's a great person. Even though we've never met, I think I should write a blog about her. Sort of like immortalize her forever. No. Don't get me wrong. I am not crazy about her or I am not a lesbian either. It's just that ever since I first talked to her, she touches a cord in my heart and made me realize that there is still people, half way across the world, who still care. She's young and yet, she knows what is right and what is wrong.

When the earthquake hit Padang, we could feel the tremor here in Malaysia. And she thought of me at that time. She said that it would suck I were blown away in a tsunami or a monsoon. Cute.

This is what Francoise said "i think you are a lovely person, and a good one that has managed to also keep their inner peace and innocence a part of them, no matter how much older they get. this is what i call, being young at heart, and not many are able to understand it, but even less are able to hold on to it. i love these things."

So this one here goes to a girl name Francoise. And don't mess with her.

She's a ninja.